Staring furiously in the mirror
I toy with the idea of chopping my hair
Curly locks falling to the floor as my neck
jerks forward from the lack of weight holding my head
level upon my shoulders
And then I see her.
In my fingers, as they reach up to tuck the stray hairs behind my ear
Displaying her eyes staring back at me
Her freckles sprawled across my nose
The essence of her tucked into the wrinkles by my eyes
every time I laugh
And I hear Dad’s voice ringing in my ears
“Oh, I’ve seen that before
You get that from your momma”
as if I preserve her life just by living my own
And I wonder why I’d ever want to rid myself
of the only piece of her I have left
How could the world continue spinning without the gravity of her thick curls?
Instead I comb through my tangles
Paint my nails in her favorite color
Smile through my crooked teeth
Because in loving her
I learn to love myself.