All she knew was that she was driving. She didn’t know where she was going. It wasn’t until she heard sirens behind her that she realized she was even behind the wheel. They blared, and she obeyed without hesitation. Pulling off to the side of the road, she reached towards the glove compartment in search of her license. But with her fingers on the handle, she remembered that this wasn’t her car. None of her possessions resided in it, leaving her utterly unprepared for the moment that the officer would tap gently on her window and ask for the things she could not provide. When he finally arrived at her window, he surprised her with a question, different from the one she was expecting.
“Afternoon ma’am, is everything alright? I caught you going 14 over the speed limit. Is there a reason you were speeding?” To her dismay, she was also unprepared for this question. She wasn’t even entirely sure where she was going, let alone why she was speeding to get there. Though she could certainly infer. She had never been in the driver’s side of this particular car. It belonged to her husband, and he refused to let her drive it—or drive at all, for that matter. “Where would you need to go without me anyway?” He would ask her. But he wasn’t looking for an answer, and she knew that. If she was driving now, that meant she certainly couldn’t go home. He would never forgive her. It would take ages for her body to recover.
“Ma’am?” the officer reiterated. She considered for a moment, telling him the truth, but the thought of the things her husband would do if he ever found out, kept the truth from surfacing.
“No, officer. I’m sorry.” She responded sullenly.
“Happens to the best of us,” he responded, “Can I just have your license and registration please?” He held out his hand, expecting that she had them ready for him, but instead, she simply looked up at him, with a pleading look, and he understood that she did not have what he was looking for. Furthermore, she noticed as he eyed the left side of her face. She lifted her hand to it in curiosity. It was tender to her touch. This may have been shocking to him, but bruises were nothing new for her. “I’ll be back in a minute,” he told her, and abruptly turned away.
Her head was spinning with all of the possibilities of what would happen next, as a severe panic washed over her. A ringing in her ears prevented her from hearing what the officer was saying into his radio. She had never been pulled over before, but it wasn’t the police officer’s punishment that she feared most. She wondered if the officer would learn who the car belonged to. She wondered if her husband would show up to the scene, pretend to be relieved for her safety, and then whisk that very safety away as soon as the officer pulled off into the sunset. She wondered if the right side of her face would match the left by the end of the night. Her hands were clammy, and her heart’s thumping emphasized a sharp pain in her ribs. She put her ear to her cracked window, in hopes to gain answers to her questions. Yet all she could hear was static. She wasn’t sure if it was the static from the officer’s radio system, or the static from her ringing ears, but still she listened-- until she heard another officer announce, clearly, over the radio,
”10-33. We’ve just arrived at the owner’s house. It appears that he’s dead. Requesting backup.” Her stomach dropped. The officer’s curiosity about her speeding had finally been put to rest. She heard the swish of his pants rubbing together as he approached her window once again.
“Please step out of the vehicle with your hands on your head. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law-” she felt the cold handcuffs wrap around her wrists and pleaded,
“Wait- You don’t understand! It’s not fair!”
“I’m sure your husband would say the same if he were here.” He guided her head into the back seat of his police car, “I guess life isn’t meant to be fair.”
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